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- One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found
- himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on
- his armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could
- see his brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff
- sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready
- to slide off any moment. His many legs, pitifully thin compared
- with the size of the rest of him, waved about helplessly as he
- looked.
-
- "What's happened to me?" he thought. It wasn't a dream. His room,
- a proper human room although a little too small, lay peacefully
- between its four familiar walls. A collection of textile samples
- lay spread out on the table - Samsa was a travelling salesman - and
- above it there hung a picture that he had recently cut out of an
- illustrated magazine and housed in a nice, gilded frame. It showed
- a lady fitted out with a fur hat and fur boa who sat upright,
- raising a heavy fur muff that covered the whole of her lower arm
- towards the viewer.
-
- Gregor then turned to look out the window at the dull weather.
- Drops of rain could be heard hitting the pane, which made him feel
- quite sad. "How about if I sleep a little bit longer and forget all
- this nonsense", he thought, but that was something he was unable to
- do because he was used to sleeping on his right, and in his present
- state couldn't get into that position. However hard he threw
- himself onto his right, he always rolled back to where he was. He
- must have tried it a hundred times, shut his eyes so that he
- wouldn't have to look at the floundering legs, and only stopped when
- he began to feel a mild, dull pain there that he had never felt
- before.
-
- "Oh, God", he thought, "what a strenuous career it is that I've
- chosen! Travelling day in and day out. Doing business like this
- takes much more effort than doing your own business at home, and on
- top of that there's the curse of travelling, worries about making
- train connections, bad and irregular food, contact with different
- people all the time so that you can never get to know anyone or
- become friendly with them. It can all go to Hell!" He felt a
- slight itch up on his belly; pushed himself slowly up on his back
- towards the headboard so that he could lift his head better; found
- where the itch was, and saw that it was covered with lots of little
- white spots which he didn't know what to make of; and when he tried
- to feel the place with one of his legs he drew it quickly back
- because as soon as he touched it he was overcome by a cold shudder.
-
- He slid back into his former position. "Getting up early all the
- time", he thought, "it makes you stupid. You've got to get enough
- sleep. Other travelling salesmen live a life of luxury. For
- instance, whenever I go back to the guest house during the morning
- to copy out the contract, these gentlemen are always still sitting
- there eating their breakfasts. I ought to just try that with my
- boss; I'd get kicked out on the spot. But who knows, maybe that
- would be the best thing for me. If I didn't have my parents to
- think about I'd have given in my notice a long time ago, I'd have
- gone up to the boss and told him just what I think, tell him
- everything I would, let him know just what I feel. He'd fall right
- off his desk! And it's a funny sort of business to be sitting up
- there at your desk, talking down at your subordinates from up there,
- especially when you have to go right up close because the boss is
- hard of hearing. Well, there's still some hope; once I've got the
- money together to pay off my parents' debt to him - another five or
- six years I suppose - that's definitely what I'll do. That's when
- I'll make the big change. First of all though, I've got to get up,
- my train leaves at five."
-
- And he looked over at the alarm clock, ticking on the chest of
- drawers. "God in Heaven!" he thought. It was half past six and the
- hands were quietly moving forwards, it was even later than half
- past, more like quarter to seven. Had the alarm clock not rung? He
- could see from the bed that it had been set for four o'clock as it
- should have been; it certainly must have rung. Yes, but was it
- possible to quietly sleep through that furniture-rattling noise?
- True, he had not slept peacefully, but probably all the more deeply
- because of that. What should he do now? The next train went at
- seven; if he were to catch that he would have to rush like mad and
- the collection of samples was still not packed, and he did not at
- all feel particularly fresh and lively. And even if he did catch
- the train he would not avoid his boss's anger as the office
- assistant would have been there to see the five o'clock train go, he
- would have put in his report about Gregor's not being there a long
- time ago. The office assistant was the boss's man, spineless, and
- with no understanding. What about if he reported sick? But that
- would be extremely strained and suspicious as in fifteen years of
- service Gregor had never once yet been ill. His boss would
- certainly come round with the doctor from the medical insurance
- company, accuse his parents of having a lazy son, and accept the
- doctor's recommendation not to make any claim as the doctor believed
- that no-one was ever ill but that many were workshy. And what's
- more, would he have been entirely wrong in this case? Gregor did in
- fact, apart from excessive sleepiness after sleeping for so long,
- feel completely well and even felt much hungrier than usual.
-
- He was still hurriedly thinking all this through, unable to decide
- to get out of the bed, when the clock struck quarter to seven.
- There was a cautious knock at the door near his head. "Gregor",
- somebody called - it was his mother - "it's quarter to seven.
- Didn't you want to go somewhere?" That gentle voice! Gregor was
- shocked when he heard his own voice answering, it could hardly be
- recognised as the voice he had had before. As if from deep inside
- him, there was a painful and uncontrollable squeaking mixed in with
- it, the words could be made out at first but then there was a sort
- of echo which made them unclear, leaving the hearer unsure whether
- he had heard properly or not. Gregor had wanted to give a full
- answer and explain everything, but in the circumstances contented
- himself with saying: "Yes, mother, yes, thank-you, I'm getting up
- now." The change in Gregor's voice probably could not be noticed
- outside through the wooden door, as his mother was satisfied with
- this explanation and shuffled away. But this short conversation
- made the other members of the family aware that Gregor, against
- their expectations was still at home, and soon his father came
- knocking at one of the side doors, gently, but with his fist.
- "Gregor, Gregor", he called, "what's wrong?" And after a short
- while he called again with a warning deepness in his voice: "Gregor!
- Gregor!" At the other side door his sister came plaintively:
- "Gregor? Aren't you well? Do you need anything?" Gregor answered to
- both sides: "I'm ready, now", making an effort to remove all the
- strangeness from his voice by enunciating very carefully and putting
- long pauses between each, individual word. His father went back to
- his breakfast, but his sister whispered: "Gregor, open the door, I
- beg of you." Gregor, however, had no thought of opening the door,
- and instead congratulated himself for his cautious habit, acquired
- from his travelling, of locking all doors at night even when he was
- at home.
-
- The first thing he wanted to do was to get up in peace without being
- disturbed, to get dressed, and most of all to have his breakfast.
- Only then would he consider what to do next, as he was well aware
- that he would not bring his thoughts to any sensible conclusions by
- lying in bed. He remembered that he had often felt a slight pain in
- bed, perhaps caused by lying awkwardly, but that had always turned
- out to be pure imagination and he wondered how his imaginings would
- slowly resolve themselves today. He did not have the slightest
- doubt that the change in his voice was nothing more than the first
- sign of a serious cold, which was an occupational hazard for
- travelling salesmen.
-
- It was a simple matter to throw off the covers; he only had to blow
- himself up a little and they fell off by themselves. But it became
- difficult after that, especially as he was so exceptionally broad.
- He would have used his arms and his hands to push himself up; but
- instead of them he only had all those little legs continuously
- moving in different directions, and which he was moreover unable to
- control. If he wanted to bend one of them, then that was the first
- one that would stretch itself out; and if he finally managed to do
- what he wanted with that leg, all the others seemed to be set free
- and would move about painfully. "This is something that can't be
- done in bed", Gregor said to himself, "so don't keep trying to do
- it".
-
- The first thing he wanted to do was get the lower part of his body
- out of the bed, but he had never seen this lower part, and could not
- imagine what it looked like; it turned out to be too hard to move;
- it went so slowly; and finally, almost in a frenzy, when he
- carelessly shoved himself forwards with all the force he could
- gather, he chose the wrong direction, hit hard against the lower
- bedpost, and learned from the burning pain he felt that the lower
- part of his body might well, at present, be the most sensitive.
-
- So then he tried to get the top part of his body out of the bed
- first, carefully turning his head to the side. This he managed
- quite easily, and despite its breadth and its weight, the bulk of
- his body eventually followed slowly in the direction of the head.
- But when he had at last got his head out of the bed and into the
- fresh air it occurred to him that if he let himself fall it would be
- a miracle if his head were not injured, so he became afraid to carry
- on pushing himself forward the same way. And he could not knock
- himself out now at any price; better to stay in bed than lose
- consciousness.
-
- It took just as much effort to get back to where he had been
- earlier, but when he lay there sighing, and was once more watching
- his legs as they struggled against each other even harder than
- before, if that was possible, he could think of no way of bringing
- peace and order to this chaos. He told himself once more that it
- was not possible for him to stay in bed and that the most sensible
- thing to do would be to get free of it in whatever way he could at
- whatever sacrifice. At the same time, though, he did not forget to
- remind himself that calm consideration was much better than rushing
- to desperate conclusions. At times like this he would direct his
- eyes to the window and look out as clearly as he could, but
- unfortunately, even the other side of the narrow street was
- enveloped in morning fog and the view had little confidence or cheer
- to offer him. "Seven o'clock, already", he said to himself when the
- clock struck again, "seven o'clock, and there's still a fog like
- this." And he lay there quietly a while longer, breathing lightly
- as if he perhaps expected the total stillness to bring things back
- to their real and natural state.
-
- But then he said to himself: "Before it strikes quarter past seven
- I'll definitely have to have got properly out of bed. And by then
- somebody will have come round from work to ask what's happened to me
- as well, as they open up at work before seven o'clock." And so he
- set himself to the task of swinging the entire length of his body
- out of the bed all at the same time. If he succeeded in falling out
- of bed in this way and kept his head raised as he did so he could
- probably avoid injuring it. His back seemed to be quite hard, and
- probably nothing would happen to it falling onto the carpet. His
- main concern was for the loud noise he was bound to make, and which
- even through all the doors would probably raise concern if not
- alarm. But it was something that had to be risked.
-
- When Gregor was already sticking half way out of the bed - the new
- method was more of a game than an effort, all he had to do was rock
- back and forth - it occurred to him how simple everything would be
- if somebody came to help him. Two strong people - he had his father
- and the maid in mind - would have been more than enough; they would
- only have to push their arms under the dome of his back, peel him
- away from the bed, bend down with the load and then be patient and
- careful as he swang over onto the floor, where, hopefully, the
- little legs would find a use. Should he really call for help
- though, even apart from the fact that all the doors were locked?
- Despite all the difficulty he was in, he could not suppress a smile
- at this thought.
-
- After a while he had already moved so far across that it would have
- been hard for him to keep his balance if he rocked too hard. The
- time was now ten past seven and he would have to make a final
- decision very soon. Then there was a ring at the door of the flat.
- "That'll be someone from work", he said to himself, and froze very
- still, although his little legs only became all the more lively as
- they danced around. For a moment everything remained quiet.
- "They're not opening the door", Gregor said to himself, caught in
- some nonsensical hope. But then of course, the maid's firm steps
- went to the door as ever and opened it. Gregor only needed to hear
- the visitor's first words of greeting and he knew who it was - the
- chief clerk himself. Why did Gregor have to be the only one
- condemned to work for a company where they immediately became highly
- suspicious at the slightest shortcoming? Were all employees, every
- one of them, louts, was there not one of them who was faithful and
- devoted who would go so mad with pangs of conscience that he
- couldn't get out of bed if he didn't spend at least a couple of
- hours in the morning on company business? Was it really not enough
- to let one of the trainees make enquiries - assuming enquiries were
- even necessary - did the chief clerk have to come himself, and did
- they have to show the whole, innocent family that this was so
- suspicious that only the chief clerk could be trusted to have the
- wisdom to investigate it? And more because these thoughts had made
- him upset than through any proper decision, he swang himself with
- all his force out of the bed. There was a loud thump, but it wasn't
- really a loud noise. His fall was softened a little by the carpet,
- and Gregor's back was also more elastic than he had thought, which
- made the sound muffled and not too noticeable. He had not held his
- head carefully enough, though, and hit it as he fell; annoyed and in
- pain, he turned it and rubbed it against the carpet.
-
- "Something's fallen down in there", said the chief clerk in the room
- on the left. Gregor tried to imagine whether something of the sort
- that had happened to him today could ever happen to the chief clerk
- too; you had to concede that it was possible. But as if in gruff
- reply to this question, the chief clerk's firm footsteps in his
- highly polished boots could now be heard in the adjoining room.
- From the room on his right, Gregor's sister whispered to him to let
- him know: "Gregor, the chief clerk is here." "Yes, I know", said
- Gregor to himself; but without daring to raise his voice loud enough
- for his sister to hear him.
-
- "Gregor", said his father now from the room to his left, "the chief
- clerk has come round and wants to know why you didn't leave on the
- early train. We don't know what to say to him. And anyway, he
- wants to speak to you personally. So please open up this door. I'm
- sure he'll be good enough to forgive the untidiness of your room."
- Then the chief clerk called "Good morning, Mr. Samsa". "He isn't
- well", said his mother to the chief clerk, while his father
- continued to speak through the door. "He isn't well, please believe
- me. Why else would Gregor have missed a train! The lad only ever
- thinks about the business. It nearly makes me cross the way he
- never goes out in the evenings; he's been in town for a week now but
- stayed home every evening. He sits with us in the kitchen and just
- reads the paper or studies train timetables. His idea of relaxation
- is working with his fretsaw. He's made a little frame, for
- instance, it only took him two or three evenings, you'll be amazed
- how nice it is; it's hanging up in his room; you'll see it as soon
- as Gregor opens the door. Anyway, I'm glad you're here; we wouldn't
- have been able to get Gregor to open the door by ourselves; he's so
- stubborn; and I'm sure he isn't well, he said this morning that he
- is, but he isn't." "I'll be there in a moment", said Gregor slowly
- and thoughtfully, but without moving so that he would not miss any
- word of the conversation. "Well I can't think of any other way of
- explaining it, Mrs. Samsa", said the chief clerk, "I hope it's
- nothing serious. But on the other hand, I must say that if we
- people in commerce ever become slightly unwell then, fortunately or
- unfortunately as you like, we simply have to overcome it because of
- business considerations." "Can the chief clerk come in to see you
- now then?", asked his father impatiently, knocking at the door
- again. "No", said Gregor. In the room on his right there followed
- a painful silence; in the room on his left his sister began to cry.
-
- So why did his sister not go and join the others? She had probably
- only just got up and had not even begun to get dressed. And why was
- she crying? Was it because he had not got up, and had not let the
- chief clerk in, because he was in danger of losing his job and if
- that happened his boss would once more pursue their parents with the
- same demands as before? There was no need to worry about things like
- that yet. Gregor was still there and had not the slightest
- intention of abandoning his family. For the time being he just lay
- there on the carpet, and no-one who knew the condition he was in
- would seriously have expected him to let the chief clerk in. It was
- only a minor discourtesy, and a suitable excuse could easily be
- found for it later on, it was not something for which Gregor could
- be sacked on the spot. And it seemed to Gregor much more sensible
- to leave him now in peace instead of disturbing him with talking at
- him and crying. But the others didn't know what was happening, they
- were worried, that would excuse their behaviour.
-
- The chief clerk now raised his voice, "Mr. Samsa", he called to him,
- "what is wrong? You barricade yourself in your room, give us no more
- than yes or no for an answer, you are causing serious and
- unnecessary concern to your parents and you fail - and I mention
- this just by the way - you fail to carry out your business duties in
- a way that is quite unheard of. I'm speaking here on behalf of your
- parents and of your employer, and really must request a clear and
- immediate explanation. I am astonished, quite astonished. I
- thought I knew you as a calm and sensible person, and now you
- suddenly seem to be showing off with peculiar whims. This morning,
- your employer did suggest a possible reason for your failure to
- appear, it's true - it had to do with the money that was recently
- entrusted to you - but I came near to giving him my word of honour
- that that could not be the right explanation. But now that I see
- your incomprehensible stubbornness I no longer feel any wish
- whatsoever to intercede on your behalf. And nor is your position
- all that secure. I had originally intended to say all this to you
- in private, but since you cause me to waste my time here for no good
- reason I don't see why your parents should not also learn of it.
- Your turnover has been very unsatisfactory of late; I grant you that
- it's not the time of year to do especially good business, we
- recognise that; but there simply is no time of year to do no
- business at all, Mr. Samsa, we cannot allow there to be."
-
- "But Sir", called Gregor, beside himself and forgetting all else in
- the excitement, "I'll open up immediately, just a moment. I'm
- slightly unwell, an attack of dizziness, I haven't been able to get
- up. I'm still in bed now. I'm quite fresh again now, though. I'm
- just getting out of bed. Just a moment. Be patient! It's not quite
- as easy as I'd thought. I'm quite alright now, though. It's
- shocking, what can suddenly happen to a person! I was quite alright
- last night, my parents know about it, perhaps better than me, I had
- a small symptom of it last night already. They must have noticed
- it. I don't know why I didn't let you know at work! But you always
- think you can get over an illness without staying at home. Please,
- don't make my parents suffer! There's no basis for any of the
- accusations you're making; nobody's ever said a word to me about any
- of these things. Maybe you haven't read the latest contracts I sent
- in. I'll set off with the eight o'clock train, as well, these few
- hours of rest have given me strength. You don't need to wait, sir;
- I'll be in the office soon after you, and please be so good as to
- tell that to the boss and recommend me to him!"
-
- And while Gregor gushed out these words, hardly knowing what he was
- saying, he made his way over to the chest of drawers - this was
- easily done, probably because of the practise he had already had in
- bed - where he now tried to get himself upright. He really did want
- to open the door, really did want to let them see him and to speak
- with the chief clerk; the others were being so insistent, and he was
- curious to learn what they would say when they caught sight of him.
- If they were shocked then it would no longer be Gregor's
- responsibility and he could rest. If, however, they took everything
- calmly he would still have no reason to be upset, and if he hurried
- he really could be at the station for eight o'clock. The first few
- times he tried to climb up on the smooth chest of drawers he just
- slid down again, but he finally gave himself one last swing and
- stood there upright; the lower part of his body was in serious pain
- but he no longer gave any attention to it. Now he let himself fall
- against the back of a nearby chair and held tightly to the edges of
- it with his little legs. By now he had also calmed down, and kept
- quiet so that he could listen to what the chief clerk was saying.
-
- "Did you understand a word of all that?" the chief clerk asked his
- parents, "surely he's not trying to make fools of us". "Oh, God!"
- called his mother, who was already in tears, "he could be seriously
- ill and we're making him suffer. Grete! Grete!" she then cried.
- "Mother?" his sister called from the other side. They communicated
- across Gregor's room. "You'll have to go for the doctor straight
- away. Gregor is ill. Quick, get the doctor. Did you hear the way
- Gregor spoke just now?" "That was the voice of an animal", said the
- chief clerk, with a calmness that was in contrast with his mother's
- screams. "Anna! Anna!" his father called into the kitchen through
- the entrance hall, clapping his hands, "get a locksmith here, now!"
- And the two girls, their skirts swishing, immediately ran out
- through the hall, wrenching open the front door of the flat as they
- went. How had his sister managed to get dressed so quickly? There
- was no sound of the door banging shut again; they must have left it
- open; people often do in homes where something awful has happened.
-
- Gregor, in contrast, had become much calmer. So they couldn't
- understand his words any more, although they seemed clear enough to
- him, clearer than before - perhaps his ears had become used to the
- sound. They had realised, though, that there was something wrong
- with him, and were ready to help. The first response to his
- situation had been confident and wise, and that made him feel
- better. He felt that he had been drawn back in among people, and
- from the doctor and the locksmith he expected great and surprising
- achievements - although he did not really distinguish one from the
- other. Whatever was said next would be crucial, so, in order to
- make his voice as clear as possible, he coughed a little, but taking
- care to do this not too loudly as even this might well sound
- different from the way that a human coughs and he was no longer sure
- he could judge this for himself. Meanwhile, it had become very
- quiet in the next room. Perhaps his parents were sat at the table
- whispering with the chief clerk, or perhaps they were all pressed
- against the door and listening.
-
- Gregor slowly pushed his way over to the door with the chair. Once
- there he let go of it and threw himself onto the door, holding
- himself upright against it using the adhesive on the tips of his
- legs. He rested there a little while to recover from the effort
- involved and then set himself to the task of turning the key in the
- lock with his mouth. He seemed, unfortunately, to have no proper
- teeth - how was he, then, to grasp the key? - but the lack of teeth
- was, of course, made up for with a very strong jaw; using the jaw,
- he really was able to start the key turning, ignoring the fact that
- he must have been causing some kind of damage as a brown fluid came
- from his mouth, flowed over the key and dripped onto the floor.
- "Listen", said the chief clerk in the next room, "he's turning the
- key." Gregor was greatly encouraged by this; but they all should
- have been calling to him, his father and his mother too: "Well done,
- Gregor", they should have cried, "keep at it, keep hold of the
- lock!" And with the idea that they were all excitedly following his
- efforts, he bit on the key with all his strength, paying no
- attention to the pain he was causing himself. As the key turned
- round he turned around the lock with it, only holding himself
- upright with his mouth, and hung onto the key or pushed it down
- again with the whole weight of his body as needed. The clear sound
- of the lock as it snapped back was Gregor's sign that he could break
- his concentration, and as he regained his breath he said to himself:
- "So, I didn't need the locksmith after all". Then he lay his head on
- the handle of the door to open it completely.
-
- Because he had to open the door in this way, it was already wide
- open before he could be seen. He had first to slowly turn himself
- around one of the double doors, and he had to do it very carefully
- if he did not want to fall flat on his back before entering the
- room. He was still occupied with this difficult movement, unable to
- pay attention to anything else, when he heard the chief clerk
- exclaim a loud "Oh!", which sounded like the soughing of the wind.
- Now he also saw him - he was the nearest to the door - his hand
- pressed against his open mouth and slowly retreating as if driven by
- a steady and invisible force. Gregor's mother, her hair still
- dishevelled from bed despite the chief clerk's being there, looked
- at his father. Then she unfolded her arms, took two steps forward
- towards Gregor and sank down onto the floor into her skirts that
- spread themselves out around her as her head disappeared down onto
- her breast. His father looked hostile, and clenched his fists as if
- wanting to knock Gregor back into his room. Then he looked
- uncertainly round the living room, covered his eyes with his hands
- and wept so that his powerful chest shook.
-
- So Gregor did not go into the room, but leant against the inside of
- the other door which was still held bolted in place. In this way
- only half of his body could be seen, along with his head above it
- which he leant over to one side as he peered out at the others.
- Meanwhile the day had become much lighter; part of the endless,
- grey-black building on the other side of the street - which was a
- hospital - could be seen quite clearly with the austere and regular
- line of windows piercing its facade; the rain was still
- falling, now throwing down large, individual droplets which hit the
- ground one at a time. The washing up from breakfast lay on the
- table; there was so much of it because, for Gregor's father,
- breakfast was the most important meal of the day and he would
- stretch it out for several hours as he sat reading a number of
- different newspapers. On the wall exactly opposite there was
- photograph of Gregor when he was a lieutenant in the army, his sword
- in his hand and a carefree smile on his face as he called forth
- respect for his uniform and bearing. The door to the entrance hall
- was open and as the front door of the flat was also open he could
- see onto the landing and the stairs where they began their way down
- below.
-
- "Now, then", said Gregor, well aware that he was the only one to
- have kept calm, "I'll get dressed straight away now, pack up my
- samples and set off. Will you please just let me leave? You can
- see", he said to the chief clerk, "that I'm not stubborn and I
- like to do my job; being a commercial traveller is arduous but
- without travelling I couldn't earn my living. So where are you
- going, in to the office? Yes? Will you report everything accurately,
- then? It's quite possible for someone to be temporarily unable to
- work, but that's just the right time to remember what's been
- achieved in the past and consider that later on, once the difficulty
- has been removed, he will certainly work with all the more diligence
- and concentration. You're well aware that I'm seriously in debt to
- our employer as well as having to look after my parents and my
- sister, so that I'm trapped in a difficult situation, but I will
- work my way out of it again. Please don't make things any harder
- for me than they are already, and don't take sides against me at the
- office. I know that nobody likes the travellers. They think we
- earn an enormous wage as well as having a soft time of it. That's
- just prejudice but they have no particular reason to think better of
- it. But you, sir, you have a better overview than the rest of the
- staff, in fact, if I can say this in confidence, a better overview
- than the boss himself - it's very easy for a businessman like him to
- make mistakes about his employees and judge them more harshly than
- he should. And you're also well aware that we travellers spend
- almost the whole year away from the office, so that we can very
- easily fall victim to gossip and chance and groundless complaints,
- and it's almost impossible to defend yourself from that sort of
- thing, we don't usually even hear about them, or if at all it's when
- we arrive back home exhausted from a trip, and that's when we feel
- the harmful effects of what's been going on without even knowing
- what caused them. Please, don't go away, at least first say
- something to show that you grant that I'm at least partly right!"
-
- But the chief clerk had turned away as soon as Gregor had started to
- speak, and, with protruding lips, only stared back at him over his
- trembling shoulders as he left. He did not keep still for a moment
- while Gregor was speaking, but moved steadily towards the door
- without taking his eyes off him. He moved very gradually, as if
- there had been some secret prohibition on leaving the room. It was
- only when he had reached the entrance hall that he made a sudden
- movement, drew his foot from the living room, and rushed forward in
- a panic. In the hall, he stretched his right hand far out towards
- the stairway as if out there, there were some supernatural force
- waiting to save him.
-
- Gregor realised that it was out of the question to let the chief
- clerk go away in this mood if his position in the firm was not to be
- put into extreme danger. That was something his parents did not
- understand very well; over the years, they had become convinced that
- this job would provide for Gregor for his entire life, and besides,
- they had so much to worry about at present that they had lost sight
- of any thought for the future. Gregor, though, did think about the
- future. The chief clerk had to be held back, calmed down, convinced
- and finally won over; the future of Gregor and his family depended
- on it! If only his sister were here! She was clever; she was already
- in tears while Gregor was still lying peacefully on his back. And
- the chief clerk was a lover of women, surely she could persuade him;
- she would close the front door in the entrance hall and talk him out
- of his shocked state. But his sister was not there, Gregor would
- have to do the job himself. And without considering that he still
- was not familiar with how well he could move about in his present
- state, or that his speech still might not - or probably would not -
- be understood, he let go of the door; pushed himself through the
- opening; tried to reach the chief clerk on the landing who,
- ridiculously, was holding on to the banister with both hands; but
- Gregor fell immediately over and, with a little scream as he sought
- something to hold onto, landed on his numerous little legs. Hardly
- had that happened than, for the first time that day, he began to
- feel alright with his body; the little legs had the solid ground
- under them; to his pleasure, they did exactly as he told them; they
- were even making the effort to carry him where he wanted to go; and
- he was soon believing that all his sorrows would soon be finally at
- an end. He held back the urge to move but swayed from side to side
- as he crouched there on the floor. His mother was not far away in
- front of him and seemed, at first, quite engrossed in herself, but
- then she suddenly jumped up with her arms outstretched and her
- fingers spread shouting: "Help, for pity's sake, Help!" The way she
- held her head suggested she wanted to see Gregor better, but the
- unthinking way she was hurrying backwards showed that she did not;
- she had forgotten that the table was behind her with all the
- breakfast things on it; when she reached the table she sat quickly
- down on it without knowing what she was doing; without even seeming
- to notice that the coffee pot had been knocked over and a gush of
- coffee was pouring down onto the carpet.
-
- "Mother, mother", said Gregor gently, looking up at her. He had
- completely forgotten the chief clerk for the moment, but could not
- help himself snapping in the air with his jaws at the sight of the
- flow of coffee. That set his mother screaming anew, she fled from
- the table and into the arms of his father as he rushed towards her.
- Gregor, though, had no time to spare for his parents now; the chief
- clerk had already reached the stairs; with his chin on the banister,
- he looked back for the last time. Gregor made a run for him; he
- wanted to be sure of reaching him; the chief clerk must have
- expected something, as he leapt down several steps at once and
- disappeared; his shouts resounding all around the staircase. The
- flight of the chief clerk seemed, unfortunately, to put Gregor's
- father into a panic as well. Until then he had been relatively self
- controlled, but now, instead of running after the chief clerk
- himself, or at least not impeding Gregor as he ran after him,
- Gregor's father seized the chief clerk's stick in his right hand
- (the chief clerk had left it behind on a chair, along with his hat
- and overcoat), picked up a large newspaper from the table with his
- left, and used them to drive Gregor back into his room, stamping his
- foot at him as he went. Gregor's appeals to his father were of no
- help, his appeals were simply not understood, however much he humbly
- turned his head his father merely stamped his foot all the harder.
- Across the room, despite the chilly weather, Gregor's mother had
- pulled open a window, leant far out of it and pressed her hands to
- her face. A strong draught of air flew in from the street towards
- the stairway, the curtains flew up, the newspapers on the table
- fluttered and some of them were blown onto the floor. Nothing would
- stop Gregor's father as he drove him back, making hissing noises at
- him like a wild man. Gregor had never had any practice in moving
- backwards and was only able to go very slowly. If Gregor had only
- been allowed to turn round he would have been back in his room
- straight away, but he was afraid that if he took the time to do that
- his father would become impatient, and there was the threat of a
- lethal blow to his back or head from the stick in his father's hand
- any moment. Eventually, though, Gregor realised that he had no
- choice as he saw, to his disgust, that he was quite incapable of
- going backwards in a straight line; so he began, as quickly as
- possible and with frequent anxious glances at his father, to turn
- himself round. It went very slowly, but perhaps his father was able
- to see his good intentions as he did nothing to hinder him, in fact
- now and then he used the tip of his stick to give directions from a
- distance as to which way to turn. If only his father would stop
- that unbearable hissing! It was making Gregor quite confused. When
- he had nearly finished turning round, still listening to that
- hissing, he made a mistake and turned himself back a little the way
- he had just come. He was pleased when he finally had his head in
- front of the doorway, but then saw that it was too narrow, and his
- body was too broad to get through it without further difficulty. In
- his present mood, it obviously did not occur to his father to open
- the other of the double doors so that Gregor would have enough space
- to get through. He was merely fixed on the idea that Gregor should
- be got back into his room as quickly as possible. Nor would he ever
- have allowed Gregor the time to get himself upright as preparation
- for getting through the doorway. What he did, making more noise
- than ever, was to drive Gregor forwards all the harder as if there
- had been nothing in the way; it sounded to Gregor as if there was
- now more than one father behind him; it was not a pleasant
- experience, and Gregor pushed himself into the doorway without
- regard for what might happen. One side of his body lifted itself,
- he lay at an angle in the doorway, one flank scraped on the white
- door and was painfully injured, leaving vile brown flecks on it,
- soon he was stuck fast and would not have been able to move at all
- by himself, the little legs along one side hung quivering in the air
- while those on the other side were pressed painfully against the
- ground. Then his father gave him a hefty shove from behind which
- released him from where he was held and sent him flying, and heavily
- bleeding, deep into his room. The door was slammed shut with the
- stick, then, finally, all was quiet.
-
-
-
- II
-
-
- It was not until it was getting dark that evening that Gregor awoke
- from his deep and coma-like sleep. He would have woken soon
- afterwards anyway even if he hadn't been disturbed, as he had had
- enough sleep and felt fully rested. But he had the impression that
- some hurried steps and the sound of the door leading into the front
- room being carefully shut had woken him. The light from the
- electric street lamps shone palely here and there onto the ceiling
- and tops of the furniture, but down below, where Gregor was, it was
- dark. He pushed himself over to the door, feeling his way clumsily
- with his antennae - of which he was now beginning to learn the value
- - in order to see what had been happening there. The whole of his
- left side seemed like one, painfully stretched scar, and he limped
- badly on his two rows of legs. One of the legs had been badly
- injured in the events of that morning - it was nearly a miracle that
- only one of them had been - and dragged along lifelessly.
-
- It was only when he had reached the door that he realised what it
- actually was that had drawn him over to it; it was the smell of
- something to eat. By the door there was a dish filled with
- sweetened milk with little pieces of white bread floating in it. He
- was so pleased he almost laughed, as he was even hungrier than he
- had been that morning, and immediately dipped his head into the
- milk, nearly covering his eyes with it. But he soon drew his head
- back again in disappointment; not only did the pain in his tender
- left side make it difficult to eat the food - he was only able to
- eat if his whole body worked together as a snuffling whole - but the
- milk did not taste at all nice. Milk like this was normally his
- favourite drink, and his sister had certainly left it there for him
- because of that, but he turned, almost against his own will, away
- from the dish and crawled back into the centre of the room.
-
- Through the crack in the door, Gregor could see that the gas had
- been lit in the living room. His father at this time would normally
- be sat with his evening paper, reading it out in a loud voice to
- Gregor's mother, and sometimes to his sister, but there was now not
- a sound to be heard. Gregor's sister would often write and tell him
- about this reading, but maybe his father had lost the habit in
- recent times. It was so quiet all around too, even though there
- must have been somebody in the flat. "What a quiet life it is the
- family lead", said Gregor to himself, and, gazing into the darkness,
- felt a great pride that he was able to provide a life like that in
- such a nice home for his sister and parents. But what now, if all
- this peace and wealth and comfort should come to a horrible and
- frightening end? That was something that Gregor did not want to
- think about too much, so he started to move about, crawling up and
- down the room.
-
- Once during that long evening, the door on one side of the room was
- opened very slightly and hurriedly closed again; later on the door
- on the other side did the same; it seemed that someone needed to
- enter the room but thought better of it. Gregor went and waited
- immediately by the door, resolved either to bring the timorous
- visitor into the room in some way or at least to find out who it
- was; but the door was opened no more that night and Gregor waited in
- vain. The previous morning while the doors were locked everyone had
- wanted to get in there to him, but now, now that he had opened up
- one of the doors and the other had clearly been unlocked some time
- during the day, no-one came, and the keys were in the other sides.
-
- It was not until late at night that the gaslight in the living room
- was put out, and now it was easy to see that his parents and sister had
- stayed awake all that time, as they all could be distinctly heard as
- they went away together on tip-toe. It was clear that no-one would
- come into Gregor's room any more until morning; that gave him plenty
- of time to think undisturbed about how he would have to re-arrange
- his life. For some reason, the tall, empty room where he was forced
- to remain made him feel uneasy as he lay there flat on the floor,
- even though he had been living in it for five years. Hardly aware
- of what he was doing other than a slight feeling of shame, he
- hurried under the couch. It pressed down on his back a little, and
- he was no longer able to lift his head, but he nonetheless felt
- immediately at ease and his only regret was that his body was too
- broad to get it all underneath.
-
- He spent the whole night there. Some of the time he passed in a
- light sleep, although he frequently woke from it in alarm because of
- his hunger, and some of the time was spent in worries and vague
- hopes which, however, always led to the same conclusion: for the
- time being he must remain calm, he must show patience and the
- greatest consideration so that his family could bear the
- unpleasantness that he, in his present condition, was forced to
- impose on them.
-
- Gregor soon had the opportunity to test the strength of his
- decisions, as early the next morning, almost before the night had
- ended, his sister, nearly fully dressed, opened the door from the
- front room and looked anxiously in. She did not see him straight
- away, but when she did notice him under the couch - he had to be
- somewhere, for God's sake, he couldn't have flown away - she was so
- shocked that she lost control of herself and slammed the door shut
- again from outside. But she seemed to regret her behaviour, as she
- opened the door again straight away and came in on tip-toe as if
- entering the room of someone seriously ill or even of a stranger.
- Gregor had pushed his head forward, right to the edge of the couch,
- and watched her. Would she notice that he had left the milk as it
- was, realise that it was not from any lack of hunger and bring him
- in some other food that was more suitable? If she didn't do it
- herself he would rather go hungry than draw her attention to it,
- although he did feel a terrible urge to rush forward from under the
- couch, throw himself at his sister's feet and beg her for something
- good to eat. However, his sister noticed the full dish immediately
- and looked at it and the few drops of milk splashed around it with
- some surprise. She immediately picked it up - using a rag,
- not her bare hands - and carried it out. Gregor was extremely
- curious as to what she would bring in its place, imagining the
- wildest possibilities, but he never could have guessed what his
- sister, in her goodness, actually did bring. In order to test his
- taste, she brought him a whole selection of things, all spread out
- on an old newspaper. There were old, half-rotten vegetables; bones
- from the evening meal, covered in white sauce that had gone hard; a
- few raisins and almonds; some cheese that Gregor had declared
- inedible two days before; a dry roll and some bread spread with
- butter and salt. As well as all that she had poured some water into
- the dish, which had probably been permanently set aside for Gregor's
- use, and placed it beside them. Then, out of consideration for
- Gregor's feelings, as she knew that he would not eat in front of
- her, she hurried out again and even turned the key in the lock so
- that Gregor would know he could make things as comfortable for
- himself as he liked. Gregor's little legs whirred, at last he could
- eat. What's more, his injuries must already have completely healed
- as he found no difficulty in moving. This amazed him, as more than
- a month earlier he had cut his finger slightly with a knife, he
- thought of how his finger had still hurt the day before yesterday.
- "Am I less sensitive than I used to be, then?", he thought, and was
- already sucking greedily at the cheese which had immediately, almost
- compellingly, attracted him much more than the other foods on the
- newspaper. Quickly one after another, his eyes watering with
- pleasure, he consumed the cheese, the vegetables and the sauce; the
- fresh foods, on the other hand, he didn't like at all, and even
- dragged the things he did want to eat a little way away from them
- because he couldn't stand the smell. Long after he had finished
- eating and lay lethargic in the same place, his sister slowly turned
- the key in the lock as a sign to him that he should withdraw. He
- was immediately startled, although he had been half asleep, and he
- hurried back under the couch. But he needed great self-control to
- stay there even for the short time that his sister was in the room,
- as eating so much food had rounded out his body a little and he
- could hardly breathe in that narrow space. Half suffocating, he
- watched with bulging eyes as his sister unselfconsciously took a
- broom and swept up the left-overs, mixing them in with the food he
- had not even touched at all as if it could not be used any more.
- She quickly dropped it all into a bin, closed it with its wooden
- lid, and carried everything out. She had hardly turned her back
- before Gregor came out again from under the couch and stretched
- himself.
-
- This was how Gregor received his food each day now, once in the
- morning while his parents and the maid were still asleep, and the
- second time after everyone had eaten their meal at midday as his
- parents would sleep for a little while then as well, and Gregor's
- sister would send the maid away on some errand. Gregor's father and
- mother certainly did not want him to starve either, but perhaps it
- would have been more than they could stand to have any more
- experience of his feeding than being told about it, and perhaps his
- sister wanted to spare them what distress she could as they were
- indeed suffering enough.
-
- It was impossible for Gregor to find out what they had told the
- doctor and the locksmith that first morning to get them out of the
- flat. As nobody could understand him, nobody, not even his sister,
- thought that he could understand them, so he had to be content to
- hear his sister's sighs and appeals to the saints as she moved about
- his room. It was only later, when she had become a little more used
- to everything - there was, of course, no question of her ever
- becoming fully used to the situation - that Gregor would sometimes
- catch a friendly comment, or at least a comment that could be
- construed as friendly. "He's enjoyed his dinner today", she might
- say when he had diligently cleared away all the food left for him,
- or if he left most of it, which slowly became more and more
- frequent, she would often say, sadly, "now everything's just been
- left there again".
-
- Although Gregor wasn't able to hear any news directly he did listen
- to much of what was said in the next rooms, and whenever he heard
- anyone speaking he would scurry straight to the appropriate door and
- press his whole body against it. There was seldom any conversation,
- especially at first, that was not about him in some way, even if
- only in secret. For two whole days, all the talk at every mealtime
- was about what they should do now; but even between meals they spoke
- about the same subject as there were always at least two members of
- the family at home - nobody wanted to be at home by themselves and
- it was out of the question to leave the flat entirely empty. And on
- the very first day the maid had fallen to her knees and begged
- Gregor's mother to let her go without delay. It was not very clear
- how much she knew of what had happened but she left within a quarter
- of an hour, tearfully thanking Gregor's mother for her dismissal as
- if she had done her an enormous service. She even swore
- emphatically not to tell anyone the slightest about what had
- happened, even though no-one had asked that of her.
-
- Now Gregor's sister also had to help his mother with the cooking;
- although that was not so much bother as no-one ate very much.
- Gregor often heard how one of them would unsuccessfully urge another
- to eat, and receive no more answer than "no thanks, I've had enough"
- or something similar. No-one drank very much either. His sister
- would sometimes ask his father whether he would like a beer, hoping
- for the chance to go and fetch it herself. When his father then
- said nothing she would add, so that he would not feel selfish, that
- she could send the housekeeper for it, but then his father would
- close the matter with a big, loud "No", and no more would be said.
-
- Even before the first day had come to an end, his father had
- explained to Gregor's mother and sister what their finances and
- prospects were. Now and then he stood up from the table and took
- some receipt or document from the little cash box he had saved from
- his business when it had collapsed five years earlier. Gregor heard
- how he opened the complicated lock and then closed it again after he
- had taken the item he wanted. What he heard his father say was some
- of the first good news that Gregor heard since he had first been
- incarcerated in his room. He had thought that nothing at all
- remained from his father's business, at least he had never told him
- anything different, and Gregor had never asked him about it anyway.
- Their business misfortune had reduced the family to a state of total
- despair, and Gregor's only concern at that time had been to arrange
- things so that they could all forget about it as quickly as
- possible. So then he started working especially hard, with a fiery
- vigour that raised him from a junior salesman to a travelling
- representative almost overnight, bringing with it the chance to earn
- money in quite different ways. Gregor converted his success at work
- straight into cash that he could lay on the table at home for the
- benefit of his astonished and delighted family. They had been good
- times and they had never come again, at least not with the same
- splendour, even though Gregor had later earned so much that he was
- in a position to bear the costs of the whole family, and did bear
- them. They had even got used to it, both Gregor and the family,
- they took the money with gratitude and he was glad to provide it,
- although there was no longer much warm affection given in return.
- Gregor only remained close to his sister now. Unlike him, she was
- very fond of music and a gifted and expressive violinist, it was his
- secret plan to send her to the conservatory next year even though it
- would cause great expense that would have to be made up for in some
- other way. During Gregor's short periods in town, conversation with
- his sister would often turn to the conservatory but it was only ever
- mentioned as a lovely dream that could never be realised. Their
- parents did not like to hear this innocent talk, but Gregor thought
- about it quite hard and decided he would let them know what he
- planned with a grand announcement of it on Christmas day.
-
- That was the sort of totally pointless thing that went through his
- mind in his present state, pressed upright against the door and
- listening. There were times when he simply became too tired to
- continue listening, when his head would fall wearily against the
- door and he would pull it up again with a start, as even the
- slightest noise he caused would be heard next door and they would
- all go silent. "What's that he's doing now", his father would say
- after a while, clearly having gone over to the door, and only then
- would the interrupted conversation slowly be taken up again.
-
- When explaining things, his father repeated himself several times,
- partly because it was a long time since he had been occupied with
- these matters himself and partly because Gregor's mother did not
- understand everything the first time. From these repeated explanations
- Gregor learned, to his pleasure, that despite all their misfortunes
- there was still some money available from the old days. It was not
- a lot, but it had not been touched in the meantime and some interest
- had accumulated. Besides that, they had not been using up all the
- money that Gregor had been bringing home every month, keeping only a
- little for himself, so that that, too, had been accumulating.
- Behind the door, Gregor nodded with enthusiasm in his pleasure at
- this unexpected thrift and caution. He could actually have used
- this surplus money to reduce his father's debt to his boss, and the
- day when he could have freed himself from that job would have come
- much closer, but now it was certainly better the way his father had
- done things.
-
- This money, however, was certainly not enough to enable the family
- to live off the interest; it was enough to maintain them for,
- perhaps, one or two years, no more. That's to say, it was money
- that should not really be touched but set aside for emergencies;
- money to live on had to be earned. His father was healthy but old,
- and lacking in self confidence. During the five years that he had
- not been working - the first holiday in a life that had been full of
- strain and no success - he had put on a lot of weight and become
- very slow and clumsy. Would Gregor's elderly mother now have to go
- and earn money? She suffered from asthma and it was a strain for her
- just to move about the home, every other day would be spent
- struggling for breath on the sofa by the open window. Would his
- sister have to go and earn money? She was still a child of
- seventeen, her life up till then had been very enviable, consisting
- of wearing nice clothes, sleeping late, helping out in the business,
- joining in with a few modest pleasures and most of all playing the
- violin. Whenever they began to talk of the need to earn money,
- Gregor would always first let go of the door and then throw himself
- onto the cool, leather sofa next to it, as he became quite hot with
- shame and regret.
-
- He would often lie there the whole night through, not sleeping a
- wink but scratching at the leather for hours on end. Or he might go
- to all the effort of pushing a chair to the window, climbing up onto
- the sill and, propped up in the chair, leaning on the window to
- stare out of it. He had used to feel a great sense of freedom from
- doing this, but doing it now was obviously something more remembered
- than experienced, as what he actually saw in this way was becoming
- less distinct every day, even things that were quite near; he had
- used to curse the ever-present view of the hospital across the
- street, but now he could not see it at all, and if he had not known
- that he lived in Charlottenstrasse, which was a quiet street despite
- being in the middle of the city, he could have thought that he was
- looking out the window at a barren waste where the grey sky and the
- grey earth mingled inseparably. His observant sister only needed to
- notice the chair twice before she would always push it back to its
- exact position by the window after she had tidied up the room, and
- even left the inner pane of the window open from then on.
-
- If Gregor had only been able to speak to his sister and thank her
- for all that she had to do for him it would have been easier for him
- to bear it; but as it was it caused him pain. His sister,
- naturally, tried as far as possible to pretend there was nothing
- burdensome about it, and the longer it went on, of course, the
- better she was able to do so, but as time went by Gregor was also
- able to see through it all so much better. It had even become very
- unpleasant for him, now, whenever she entered the room. No sooner
- had she come in than she would quickly close the door as a
- precaution so that no-one would have to suffer the view into
- Gregor's room, then she would go straight to the window and pull it
- hurriedly open almost as if she were suffocating. Even if it was
- cold, she would stay at the window breathing deeply for a little
- while. She would alarm Gregor twice a day with this running about
- and noise making; he would stay under the couch shivering the whole
- while, knowing full well that she would certainly have liked to
- spare him this ordeal, but it was impossible for her to be in the
- same room with him with the windows closed.
-
- One day, about a month after Gregor's transformation when his sister
- no longer had any particular reason to be shocked at his appearance,
- she came into the room a little earlier than usual and found him
- still staring out the window, motionless, and just where he would be
- most horrible. In itself, his sister's not coming into the room
- would have been no surprise for Gregor as it would have been
- difficult for her to immediately open the window while he was still
- there, but not only did she not come in, she went straight back and
- closed the door behind her, a stranger would have thought he had
- threatened her and tried to bite her. Gregor went straight to hide
- himself under the couch, of course, but he had to wait until midday
- before his sister came back and she seemed much more uneasy than
- usual. It made him realise that she still found his appearance
- unbearable and would continue to do so, she probably even had to
- overcome the urge to flee when she saw the little bit of him that
- protruded from under the couch. One day, in order to spare her even
- this sight, he spent four hours carrying the bedsheet over to the
- couch on his back and arranged it so that he was completely covered
- and his sister would not be able to see him even if she bent down.
- If she did not think this sheet was necessary then all she had to do
- was take it off again, as it was clear enough that it was no
- pleasure for Gregor to cut himself off so completely. She left the
- sheet where it was. Gregor even thought he glimpsed a look of
- gratitude one time when he carefully looked out from under the sheet
- to see how his sister liked the new arrangement.
-
- For the first fourteen days, Gregor's parents could not bring
- themselves to come into the room to see him. He would often hear
- them say how they appreciated all the new work his sister was doing
- even though, before, they had seen her as a girl who was somewhat
- useless and frequently been annoyed with her. But now the two of
- them, father and mother, would often both wait outside the door of
- Gregor's room while his sister tidied up in there, and as soon as
- she went out again she would have to tell them exactly how
- everything looked, what Gregor had eaten, how he had behaved this
- time and whether, perhaps, any slight improvement could be seen.
- His mother also wanted to go in and visit Gregor relatively soon but
- his father and sister at first persuaded her against it. Gregor
- listened very closely to all this, and approved fully. Later,
- though, she had to be held back by force, which made her call out:
- "Let me go and see Gregor, he is my unfortunate son! Can't you
- understand I have to see him?", and Gregor would think to himself
- that maybe it would be better if his mother came in, not every day
- of course, but one day a week, perhaps; she could understand
- everything much better than his sister who, for all her courage, was
- still just a child after all, and really might not have had an
- adult's appreciation of the burdensome job she had taken on.
-
- Gregor's wish to see his mother was soon realised. Out of
- consideration for his parents, Gregor wanted to avoid being seen at
- the window during the day, the few square meters of the floor did
- not give him much room to crawl about, it was hard to just lie
- quietly through the night, his food soon stopped giving him any
- pleasure at all, and so, to entertain himself, he got into the habit
- of crawling up and down the walls and ceiling. He was especially
- fond of hanging from the ceiling; it was quite different from lying
- on the floor; he could breathe more freely; his body had a light
- swing to it; and up there, relaxed and almost happy, it might happen
- that he would surprise even himself by letting go of the ceiling and
- landing on the floor with a crash. But now, of course, he had far
- better control of his body than before and, even with a fall as
- great as that, caused himself no damage. Very soon his sister
- noticed Gregor's new way of entertaining himself - he had, after
- all, left traces of the adhesive from his feet as he crawled about -
- and got it into her head to make it as easy as possible for him by
- removing the furniture that got in his way, especially the chest of
- drawers and the desk. Now, this was not something that she would be
- able to do by herself; she did not dare to ask for help from her
- father; the sixteen year old maid had carried on bravely since the
- cook had left but she certainly would not have helped in this, she
- had even asked to be allowed to keep the kitchen locked at all times
- and never to have to open the door unless it was especially
- important; so his sister had no choice but to choose some time when
- Gregor's father was not there and fetch his mother to help her. As
- she approached the room, Gregor could hear his mother express her
- joy, but once at the door she went silent. First, of course, his
- sister came in and looked round to see that everything in the room
- was alright; and only then did she let her mother enter. Gregor had
- hurriedly pulled the sheet down lower over the couch and put more
- folds into it so that everything really looked as if it had just
- been thrown down by chance. Gregor also refrained, this time, from
- spying out from under the sheet; he gave up the chance to see his
- mother until later and was simply glad that she had come. "You can
- come in, he can't be seen", said his sister, obviously leading her
- in by the hand. The old chest of drawers was too heavy for a pair
- of feeble women to be heaving about, but Gregor listened as they
- pushed it from its place, his sister always taking on the heaviest
- part of the work for herself and ignoring her mother's warnings that
- she would strain herself. This lasted a very long time. After
- labouring at it for fifteen minutes or more his mother said it would
- be better to leave the chest where it was, for one thing it was too
- heavy for them to get the job finished before Gregor's father got
- home and leaving it in the middle of the room it would be in his way
- even more, and for another thing it wasn't even sure that taking the
- furniture away would really be any help to him. She thought just
- the opposite; the sight of the bare walls saddened her right to her
- heart; and why wouldn't Gregor feel the same way about it, he'd been
- used to this furniture in his room for a long time and it would make
- him feel abandoned to be in an empty room like that. Then, quietly,
- almost whispering as if wanting Gregor (whose whereabouts she did
- not know) to hear not even the tone of her voice, as she was
- convinced that he did not understand her words, she added "and by
- taking the furniture away, won't it seem like we're showing that
- we've given up all hope of improvement and we're abandoning him to
- cope for himself? I think it'd be best to leave the room exactly the
- way it was before so that when Gregor comes back to us again he'll
- find everything unchanged and he'll be able to forget the time in
- between all the easier".
-
- Hearing these words from his mother made Gregor realise that the
- lack of any direct human communication, along with the monotonous
- life led by the family during these two months, must have made him
- confused - he could think of no other way of explaining to himself
- why he had seriously wanted his room emptied out. Had he really
- wanted to transform his room into a cave, a warm room fitted out
- with the nice furniture he had inherited? That would have let him
- crawl around unimpeded in any direction, but it would also have let
- him quickly forget his past when he had still been human. He had
- come very close to forgetting, and it had only been the voice of his
- mother, unheard for so long, that had shaken him out of it. Nothing
- should be removed; everything had to stay; he could not do without
- the good influence the furniture had on his condition; and if the
- furniture made it difficult for him to crawl about mindlessly that
- was not a loss but a great advantage.
-
- His sister, unfortunately, did not agree; she had become used to the
- idea, not without reason, that she was Gregor's spokesman to his
- parents about the things that concerned him. This meant that his
- mother's advice now was sufficient reason for her to insist on
- removing not only the chest of drawers and the desk, as she had
- thought at first, but all the furniture apart from the all-important
- couch. It was more than childish perversity, of course, or the
- unexpected confidence she had recently acquired, that made her
- insist; she had indeed noticed that Gregor needed a lot of room to
- crawl about in, whereas the furniture, as far as anyone could see,
- was of no use to him at all. Girls of that age, though, do become
- enthusiastic about things and feel they must get their way whenever
- they can. Perhaps this was what tempted Grete to make Gregor's
- situation seem even more shocking than it was so that she could do
- even more for him. Grete would probably be the only one who would
- dare enter a room dominated by Gregor crawling about the bare walls
- by himself.
-
- So she refused to let her mother dissuade her. Gregor's mother
- already looked uneasy in his room, she soon stopped speaking and
- helped Gregor's sister to get the chest of drawers out with what
- strength she had. The chest of drawers was something that Gregor
- could do without if he had to, but the writing desk had to stay.
- Hardly had the two women pushed the chest of drawers, groaning, out
- of the room than Gregor poked his head out from under the couch to
- see what he could do about it. He meant to be as careful and
- considerate as he could, but, unfortunately, it was his mother who
- came back first while Grete in the next room had her arms round the
- chest, pushing and pulling at it from side to side by herself
- without, of course, moving it an inch. His mother was not used to
- the sight of Gregor, he might have made her ill, so Gregor hurried
- backwards to the far end of the couch. In his startlement, though,
- he was not able to prevent the sheet at its front from moving a
- little. It was enough to attract his mother's attention. She stood
- very still, remained there a moment, and then went back out to
- Grete.
-
- Gregor kept trying to assure himself that nothing unusual was
- happening, it was just a few pieces of furniture being moved after
- all, but he soon had to admit that the women going to and fro, their
- little calls to each other, the scraping of the furniture on the
- floor, all these things made him feel as if he were being assailed
- from all sides. With his head and legs pulled in against him and
- his body pressed to the floor, he was forced to admit to himself
- that he could not stand all of this much longer. They were emptying
- his room out; taking away everything that was dear to him; they had
- already taken out the chest containing his fretsaw and other tools;
- now they threatened to remove the writing desk with its place
- clearly worn into the floor, the desk where he had done his homework
- as a business trainee, at high school, even while he had been at
- infant school--he really could not wait any longer to see whether
- the two women's intentions were good. He had nearly forgotten they
- were there anyway, as they were now too tired to say anything while
- they worked and he could only hear their feet as they stepped
- heavily on the floor.
-
- So, while the women were leant against the desk in the other room
- catching their breath, he sallied out, changed direction four times
- not knowing what he should save first before his attention was
- suddenly caught by the picture on the wall - which was already
- denuded of everything else that had been on it - of the lady dressed
- in copious fur. He hurried up onto the picture and pressed himself
- against its glass, it held him firmly and felt good on his hot
- belly. This picture at least, now totally covered by Gregor, would
- certainly be taken away by no-one. He turned his head to face the
- door into the living room so that he could watch the women when they
- came back.
-
- They had not allowed themselves a long rest and came back quite
- soon; Grete had put her arm around her mother and was nearly
- carrying her. "What shall we take now, then?", said Grete and
- looked around. Her eyes met those of Gregor on the wall. Perhaps
- only because her mother was there, she remained calm, bent her face
- to her so that she would not look round and said, albeit hurriedly
- and with a tremor in her voice: "Come on, let's go back in the
- living room for a while?" Gregor could see what Grete had in mind,
- she wanted to take her mother somewhere safe and then chase him down
- from the wall. Well, she could certainly try it! He sat unyielding
- on his picture. He would rather jump at Grete's face.
-
- But Grete's words had made her mother quite worried, she stepped to
- one side, saw the enormous brown patch against the flowers of the
- wallpaper, and before she even realised it was Gregor that she saw
- screamed: "Oh God, oh God!" Arms outstretched, she fell onto the
- couch as if she had given up everything and stayed there immobile.
- "Gregor!" shouted his sister, glowering at him and shaking her fist.
- That was the first word she had spoken to him directly since his
- transformation. She ran into the other room to fetch some kind of
- smelling salts to bring her mother out of her faint; Gregor wanted
- to help too - he could save his picture later, although he stuck
- fast to the glass and had to pull himself off by force; then he,
- too, ran into the next room as if he could advise his sister like in
- the old days; but he had to just stand behind her doing nothing; she
- was looking into various bottles, he startled her when she turned
- round; a bottle fell to the ground and broke; a splinter cut
- Gregor's face, some kind of caustic medicine splashed all over him;
- now, without delaying any longer, Grete took hold of all the bottles
- she could and ran with them in to her mother; she slammed the door
- shut with her foot. So now Gregor was shut out from his mother,
- who, because of him, might be near to death; he could not open the
- door if he did not want to chase his sister away, and she had to
- stay with his mother; there was nothing for him to do but wait; and,
- oppressed with anxiety and self-reproach, he began to crawl about,
- he crawled over everything, walls, furniture, ceiling, and finally
- in his confusion as the whole room began to spin around him he fell
- down into the middle of the dinner table.
-
- He lay there for a while, numb and immobile, all around him it was
- quiet, maybe that was a good sign. Then there was someone at the
- door. The maid, of course, had locked herself in her kitchen so
- that Grete would have to go and answer it. His father had arrived
- home. "What's happened?" were his first words; Grete's appearance
- must have made everything clear to him. She answered him with
- subdued voice, and openly pressed her face into his chest: "Mother's
- fainted, but she's better now. Gregor got out." "Just as I
- expected", said his father, "just as I always said, but you women
- wouldn't listen, would you." It was clear to Gregor that Grete had
- not said enough and that his father took it to mean that something
- bad had happened, that he was responsible for some act of violence.
- That meant Gregor would now have to try to calm his father, as he
- did not have the time to explain things to him even if that had been
- possible. So he fled to the door of his room and pressed himself
- against it so that his father, when he came in from the hall, could
- see straight away that Gregor had the best intentions and would go
- back into his room without delay, that it would not be necessary to
- drive him back but that they had only to open the door and he would
- disappear.
-
- His father, though, was not in the mood to notice subtleties like
- that; "Ah!", he shouted as he came in, sounding as if he were both
- angry and glad at the same time. Gregor drew his head back from the
- door and lifted it towards his father. He really had not imagined
- his father the way he stood there now; of late, with his new habit
- of crawling about, he had neglected to pay attention to what was
- going on the rest of the flat the way he had done before. He really
- ought to have expected things to have changed, but still, still, was
- that really his father? The same tired man as used to be laying
- there entombed in his bed when Gregor came back from his business
- trips, who would receive him sitting in the armchair in his
- nightgown when he came back in the evenings; who was hardly even
- able to stand up but, as a sign of his pleasure, would just raise
- his arms and who, on the couple of times a year when they went for a
- walk together on a Sunday or public holiday wrapped up tightly in
- his overcoat between Gregor and his mother, would always labour his
- way forward a little more slowly than them, who were already walking
- slowly for his sake; who would place his stick down carefully and,
- if he wanted to say something would invariably stop and gather his
- companions around him. He was standing up straight enough now;
- dressed in a smart blue uniform with gold buttons, the sort worn by
- the employees at the banking institute; above the high, stiff collar
- of the coat his strong double-chin emerged; under the bushy
- eyebrows, his piercing, dark eyes looked out fresh and alert; his
- normally unkempt white hair was combed down painfully close to his
- scalp. He took his cap, with its gold monogram from, probably, some
- bank, and threw it in an arc right across the room onto the sofa,
- put his hands in his trouser pockets, pushing back the bottom of his
- long uniform coat, and, with look of determination, walked towards
- Gregor. He probably did not even know himself what he had in mind,
- but nonetheless lifted his feet unusually high. Gregor was amazed
- at the enormous size of the soles of his boots, but wasted no time
- with that - he knew full well, right from the first day of his new
- life, that his father thought it necessary to always be extremely
- strict with him. And so he ran up to his father, stopped when his
- father stopped, scurried forwards again when he moved, even
- slightly. In this way they went round the room several times
- without anything decisive happening, without even giving the
- impression of a chase as everything went so slowly. Gregor remained
- all this time on the floor, largely because he feared his father
- might see it as especially provoking if he fled onto the wall or
- ceiling. Whatever he did, Gregor had to admit that he certainly
- would not be able to keep up this running about for long, as for
- each step his father took he had to carry out countless movements.
- He became noticeably short of breath, even in his earlier life his
- lungs had not been very reliable. Now, as he lurched about in his
- efforts to muster all the strength he could for running he could
- hardly keep his eyes open; his thoughts became too slow for him to
- think of any other way of saving himself than running; he almost
- forgot that the walls were there for him to use although, here, they
- were concealed behind carefully carved furniture full of notches and
- protrusions - then, right beside him, lightly tossed, something flew
- down and rolled in front of him. It was an apple; then another one
- immediately flew at him; Gregor froze in shock; there was no longer
- any point in running as his father had decided to bombard him. He
- had filled his pockets with fruit from the bowl on the sideboard and
- now, without even taking the time for careful aim, threw one apple
- after another. These little, red apples rolled about on the floor,
- knocking into each other as if they had electric motors. An apple
- thrown without much force glanced against Gregor's back and slid off
- without doing any harm. Another one however, immediately following
- it, hit squarely and lodged in his back; Gregor wanted to drag
- himself away, as if he could remove the surprising, the incredible
- pain by changing his position; but he felt as if nailed to the spot
- and spread himself out, all his senses in confusion. The last thing
- he saw was the door of his room being pulled open, his sister was
- screaming, his mother ran out in front of her in her blouse (as his
- sister had taken off some of her clothes after she had fainted to
- make it easier for her to breathe), she ran to his father, her
- skirts unfastened and sliding one after another to the ground,
- stumbling over the skirts she pushed herself to his father, her arms
- around him, uniting herself with him totally - now Gregor lost his
- ability to see anything - her hands behind his father's head begging
- him to spare Gregor's life.
-
-
-
- III
-
-
- No-one dared to remove the apple lodged in Gregor's flesh, so it
- remained there as a visible reminder of his injury. He had suffered
- it there for more than a month, and his condition seemed serious
- enough to remind even his father that Gregor, despite his current
- sad and revolting form, was a family member who could not be treated
- as an enemy. On the contrary, as a family there was a duty to
- swallow any revulsion for him and to be patient, just to be patient.
-
- Because of his injuries, Gregor had lost much of his mobility -
- probably permanently. He had been reduced to the condition of an
- ancient invalid and it took him long, long minutes to crawl across
- his room - crawling over the ceiling was out of the question - but
- this deterioration in his condition was fully (in his opinion) made
- up for by the door to the living room being left open every evening.
- He got into the habit of closely watching it for one or two hours
- before it was opened and then, lying in the darkness of his room
- where he could not be seen from the living room, he could watch the
- family in the light of the dinner table and listen to their
- conversation - with everyone's permission, in a way, and thus quite
- differently from before.
-
- They no longer held the lively conversations of earlier times, of
- course, the ones that Gregor always thought about with longing when
- he was tired and getting into the damp bed in some small hotel room.
- All of them were usually very quiet nowadays. Soon after dinner,
- his father would go to sleep in his chair; his mother and sister
- would urge each other to be quiet; his mother, bent deeply under the
- lamp, would sew fancy underwear for a fashion shop; his sister, who
- had taken a sales job, learned shorthand and French in the evenings
- so that she might be able to get a better position later on.
- Sometimes his father would wake up and say to Gregor's mother
- "you're doing so much sewing again today!", as if he did not know
- that he had been dozing - and then he would go back to sleep again
- while mother and sister would exchange a tired grin.
-
- With a kind of stubbornness, Gregor's father refused to take his
- uniform off even at home; while his nightgown hung unused on its peg
- Gregor's father would slumber where he was, fully dressed, as if
- always ready to serve and expecting to hear the voice of his
- superior even here. The uniform had not been new to start with, but
- as a result of this it slowly became even shabbier despite the
- efforts of Gregor's mother and sister to look after it. Gregor
- would often spend the whole evening looking at all the stains on
- this coat, with its gold buttons always kept polished and shiny,
- while the old man in it would sleep, highly uncomfortable but
- peaceful.
-
- As soon as it struck ten, Gregor's mother would speak gently to his
- father to wake him and try to persuade him to go to bed, as he
- couldn't sleep properly where he was and he really had to get his
- sleep if he was to be up at six to get to work. But since he had
- been in work he had become more obstinate and would always insist on
- staying longer at the table, even though he regularly fell asleep
- and it was then harder than ever to persuade him to exchange the
- chair for his bed. Then, however much mother and sister would
- importune him with little reproaches and warnings he would keep
- slowly shaking his head for a quarter of an hour with his eyes
- closed and refusing to get up. Gregor's mother would tug at his
- sleeve, whisper endearments into his ear, Gregor's sister would
- leave her work to help her mother, but nothing would have any effect
- on him. He would just sink deeper into his chair. Only when the
- two women took him under the arms he would abruptly open his eyes,
- look at them one after the other and say: "What a life! This is what
- peace I get in my old age!" And supported by the two women he would
- lift himself up carefully as if he were carrying the greatest load
- himself, let the women take him to the door, send them off and carry
- on by himself while Gregor's mother would throw down her needle and
- his sister her pen so that they could run after his father and
- continue being of help to him.
-
- Who, in this tired and overworked family, would have had time to
- give more attention to Gregor than was absolutely necessary? The
- household budget became even smaller; so now the maid was dismissed;
- an enormous, thick-boned charwoman with white hair that flapped
- around her head came every morning and evening to do the heaviest
- work; everything else was looked after by Gregor's mother on top of
- the large amount of sewing work she did. Gregor even learned,
- listening to the evening conversation about what price they had
- hoped for, that several items of jewellery belonging to the family
- had been sold, even though both mother and sister had been very fond
- of wearing them at functions and celebrations. But the loudest
- complaint was that although the flat was much too big for their
- present circumstances, they could not move out of it, there was no
- imaginable way of transferring Gregor to the new address. He could
- see quite well, though, that there were more reasons than
- consideration for him that made it difficult for them to move, it
- would have been quite easy to transport him in any suitable crate
- with a few air holes in it; the main thing holding the family back
- from their decision to move was much more to do with their total
- despair, and the thought that they had been struck with a misfortune
- unlike anything experienced by anyone else they knew or were related
- to. They carried out absolutely everything that the world expects
- from poor people, Gregor's father brought bank employees their
- breakfast, his mother sacrificed herself by washing clothes for
- strangers, his sister ran back and forth behind her desk at the
- behest of the customers, but they just did not have the strength to
- do any more. And the injury in Gregor's back began to hurt as much
- as when it was new. After they had come back from taking his father
- to bed Gregor's mother and sister would now leave their work where
- it was and sit close together, cheek to cheek; his mother would
- point to Gregor's room and say "Close that door, Grete", and then,
- when he was in the dark again, they would sit in the next room and
- their tears would mingle, or they would simply sit there staring
- dry-eyed at the table.
-
- Gregor hardly slept at all, either night or day. Sometimes he would
- think of taking over the family's affairs, just like before, the
- next time the door was opened; he had long forgotten about his boss
- and the chief clerk, but they would appear again in his thoughts,
- the salesmen and the apprentices, that stupid teaboy, two or three
- friends from other businesses, one of the chambermaids from a
- provincial hotel, a tender memory that appeared and disappeared
- again, a cashier from a hat shop for whom his attention had been
- serious but too slow, - all of them appeared to him, mixed together
- with strangers and others he had forgotten, but instead of helping
- him and his family they were all of them inaccessible, and he was
- glad when they disappeared. Other times he was not at all in the
- mood to look after his family, he was filled with simple rage about
- the lack of attention he was shown, and although he could think of
- nothing he would have wanted, he made plans of how he could get into
- the pantry where he could take all the things he was entitled to,
- even if he was not hungry. Gregor's sister no longer thought about
- how she could please him but would hurriedly push some food or other
- into his room with her foot before she rushed out to work in the
- morning and at midday, and in the evening she would sweep it away
- again with the broom, indifferent as to whether it had been eaten or
- - more often than not - had been left totally untouched. She still
- cleared up the room in the evening, but now she could not have been
- any quicker about it. Smears of dirt were left on the walls, here
- and there were little balls of dust and filth. At first, Gregor
- went into one of the worst of these places when his sister arrived
- as a reproach to her, but he could have stayed there for weeks
- without his sister doing anything about it; she could see the dirt
- as well as he could but she had simply decided to leave him to it.
- At the same time she became touchy in a way that was quite new for
- her and which everyone in the family understood - cleaning up
- Gregor's room was for her and her alone. Gregor's mother did once
- thoroughly clean his room, and needed to use several bucketfuls of
- water to do it - although that much dampness also made Gregor ill
- and he lay flat on the couch, bitter and immobile. But his mother
- was to be punished still more for what she had done, as hardly had
- his sister arrived home in the evening than she noticed the change
- in Gregor's room and, highly aggrieved, ran back into the living
- room where, despite her mothers raised and imploring hands, she
- broke into convulsive tears. Her father, of course, was startled
- out of his chair and the two parents looked on astonished and
- helpless; then they, too, became agitated; Gregor's father, standing
- to the right of his mother, accused her of not leaving the cleaning
- of Gregor's room to his sister; from her left, Gregor's sister
- screamed at her that she was never to clean Gregor's room again;
- while his mother tried to draw his father, who was beside himself
- with anger, into the bedroom; his sister, quaking with tears,
- thumped on the table with her small fists; and Gregor hissed in
- anger that no-one had even thought of closing the door to save him
- the sight of this and all its noise.
-
- Gregor's sister was exhausted from going out to work, and looking
- after Gregor as she had done before was even more work for her, but
- even so his mother ought certainly not to have taken her place.
- Gregor, on the other hand, ought not to be neglected. Now, though,
- the charwoman was here. This elderly widow, with a robust bone
- structure that made her able to withstand the hardest of things in
- her long life, wasn't really repelled by Gregor. Just by chance one
- day, rather than any real curiosity, she opened the door to Gregor's
- room and found herself face to face with him. He was taken totally
- by surprise, no-one was chasing him but he began to rush to and fro
- while she just stood there in amazement with her hands crossed in
- front of her. From then on she never failed to open the door
- slightly every evening and morning and look briefly in on him. At
- first she would call to him as she did so with words that she
- probably considered friendly, such as "come on then, you old
- dung-beetle!", or "look at the old dung-beetle there!" Gregor never
- responded to being spoken to in that way, but just remained where he
- was without moving as if the door had never even been opened. If
- only they had told this charwoman to clean up his room every day
- instead of letting her disturb him for no reason whenever she felt
- like it! One day, early in the morning while a heavy rain struck the
- windowpanes, perhaps indicating that spring was coming, she began to
- speak to him in that way once again. Gregor was so resentful of it
- that he started to move toward her, he was slow and infirm, but it
- was like a kind of attack. Instead of being afraid, the charwoman
- just lifted up one of the chairs from near the door and stood there
- with her mouth open, clearly intending not to close her mouth until
- the chair in her hand had been slammed down into Gregor's back.
- "Aren't you coming any closer, then?", she asked when Gregor turned
- round again, and she calmly put the chair back in the corner.
-
- Gregor had almost entirely stopped eating. Only if he happened to
- find himself next to the food that had been prepared for him he
- might take some of it into his mouth to play with it, leave it there
- a few hours and then, more often than not, spit it out again. At
- first he thought it was distress at the state of his room that
- stopped him eating, but he had soon got used to the changes made
- there. They had got into the habit of putting things into this room
- that they had no room for anywhere else, and there were now many
- such things as one of the rooms in the flat had been rented out to
- three gentlemen. These earnest gentlemen - all three of them had
- full beards, as Gregor learned peering through the crack in the door
- one day - were painfully insistent on things' being tidy. This
- meant not only in their own room but, since they had taken a room in
- this establishment, in the entire flat and especially in the
- kitchen. Unnecessary clutter was something they could not tolerate,
- especially if it was dirty. They had moreover brought most of their
- own furnishings and equipment with them. For this reason, many
- things had become superfluous which, although they could not be
- sold, the family did not wish to discard. All these things found
- their way into Gregor's room. The dustbins from the kitchen found
- their way in there too. The charwoman was always in a hurry, and
- anything she couldn't use for the time being she would just chuck in
- there. He, fortunately, would usually see no more than the object
- and the hand that held it. The woman most likely meant to fetch the
- things back out again when she had time and the opportunity, or to
- throw everything out in one go, but what actually happened was that
- they were left where they landed when they had first been thrown
- unless Gregor made his way through the junk and moved it somewhere
- else. At first he moved it because, with no other room free where
- he could crawl about, he was forced to, but later on he came to
- enjoy it although moving about in that way left him sad and tired to
- death, and he would remain immobile for hours afterwards.
-
- The gentlemen who rented the room would sometimes take their evening
- meal at home in the living room that was used by everyone, and so
- the door to this room was often kept closed in the evening. But
- Gregor found it easy to give up having the door open, he had, after
- all, often failed to make use of it when it was open and, without
- the family having noticed it, lain in his room in its darkest
- corner. One time, though, the charwoman left the door to the living
- room slightly open, and it remained open when the gentlemen who
- rented the room came in in the evening and the light was put on.
- They sat up at the table where, formerly, Gregor had taken his meals
- with his father and mother, they unfolded the serviettes and picked
- up their knives and forks. Gregor's mother immediately appeared in
- the doorway with a dish of meat and soon behind her came his sister
- with a dish piled high with potatoes. The food was steaming, and
- filled the room with its smell. The gentlemen bent over the dishes
- set in front of them as if they wanted to test the food before
- eating it, and the gentleman in the middle, who seemed to count as
- an authority for the other two, did indeed cut off a piece of meat
- while it was still in its dish, clearly wishing to establish whether
- it was sufficiently cooked or whether it should be sent back to the
- kitchen. It was to his satisfaction, and Gregor's mother and
- sister, who had been looking on anxiously, began to breathe again
- and smiled.
-
- The family themselves ate in the kitchen. Nonetheless, Gregor's
- father came into the living room before he went into the kitchen,
- bowed once with his cap in his hand and did his round of the table.
- The gentlemen stood as one, and mumbled something into their beards.
- Then, once they were alone, they ate in near perfect silence. It
- seemed remarkable to Gregor that above all the various noises of
- eating their chewing teeth could still be heard, as if they had
- wanted to show Gregor that you need teeth in order to eat and it was
- not possible to perform anything with jaws that are toothless
- however nice they might be. "I'd like to eat something", said
- Gregor anxiously, "but not anything like they're eating. They do
- feed themselves. And here I am, dying!"
-
- Throughout all this time, Gregor could not remember having heard the
- violin being played, but this evening it began to be heard from the
- kitchen. The three gentlemen had already finished their meal, the
- one in the middle had produced a newspaper, given a page to each of
- the others, and now they leant back in their chairs reading them and
- smoking. When the violin began playing they became attentive, stood
- up and went on tip-toe over to the door of the hallway where they
- stood pressed against each other. Someone must have heard them in
- the kitchen, as Gregor's father called out: "Is the playing perhaps
- unpleasant for the gentlemen? We can stop it straight away." "On
- the contrary", said the middle gentleman, "would the young lady not
- like to come in and play for us here in the room, where it is, after
- all, much more cosy and comfortable?" "Oh yes, we'd love to",
- called back Gregor's father as if he had been the violin player
- himself. The gentlemen stepped back into the room and waited.
- Gregor's father soon appeared with the music stand, his mother with
- the music and his sister with the violin. She calmly prepared
- everything for her to begin playing; his parents, who had never
- rented a room out before and therefore showed an exaggerated
- courtesy towards the three gentlemen, did not even dare to sit on
- their own chairs; his father leant against the door with his right
- hand pushed in between two buttons on his uniform coat; his mother,
- though, was offered a seat by one of the gentlemen and sat - leaving
- the chair where the gentleman happened to have placed it - out of
- the way in a corner.
-
- His sister began to play; father and mother paid close attention,
- one on each side, to the movements of her hands. Drawn in by the
- playing, Gregor had dared to come forward a little and already had
- his head in the living room. Before, he had taken great pride in
- how considerate he was but now it hardly occurred to him that he had
- become so thoughtless about the others. What's more, there was now
- all the more reason to keep himself hidden as he was covered in the
- dust that lay everywhere in his room and flew up at the slightest
- movement; he carried threads, hairs, and remains of food about on
- his back and sides; he was much too indifferent to everything now to
- lay on his back and wipe himself on the carpet like he had used to
- do several times a day. And despite this condition, he was not too
- shy to move forward a little onto the immaculate floor of the living
- room.
-
- No-one noticed him, though. The family was totally preoccupied with
- the violin playing; at first, the three gentlemen had put their
- hands in their pockets and come up far too close behind the music
- stand to look at all the notes being played, and they must have
- disturbed Gregor's sister, but soon, in contrast with the family,
- they withdrew back to the window with their heads sunk and talking
- to each other at half volume, and they stayed by the window while
- Gregor's father observed them anxiously. It really now seemed very
- obvious that they had expected to hear some beautiful or
- entertaining violin playing but had been disappointed, that they had
- had enough of the whole performance and it was only now out of
- politeness that they allowed their peace to be disturbed. It was
- especially unnerving, the way they all blew the smoke from their
- cigarettes upwards from their mouth and noses. Yet Gregor's sister
- was playing so beautifully. Her face was leant to one side,
- following the lines of music with a careful and melancholy
- expression. Gregor crawled a little further forward, keeping his
- head close to the ground so that he could meet her eyes if the
- chance came. Was he an animal if music could captivate him so? It
- seemed to him that he was being shown the way to the unknown
- nourishment he had been yearning for. He was determined to make his
- way forward to his sister and tug at her skirt to show her she might
- come into his room with her violin, as no-one appreciated her
- playing here as much as he would. He never wanted to let her out of
- his room, not while he lived, anyway; his shocking appearance
- should, for once, be of some use to him; he wanted to be at every
- door of his room at once to hiss and spit at the attackers; his
- sister should not be forced to stay with him, though, but stay of
- her own free will; she would sit beside him on the couch with her
- ear bent down to him while he told her how he had always intended to
- send her to the conservatory, how he would have told everyone about
- it last Christmas - had Christmas really come and gone already? - if
- this misfortune hadn't got in the way, and refuse to let anyone
- dissuade him from it. On hearing all this, his sister would break
- out in tears of emotion, and Gregor would climb up to her shoulder
- and kiss her neck, which, since she had been going out to work, she
- had kept free without any necklace or collar.
-
- "Mr. Samsa!", shouted the middle gentleman to Gregor's father,
- pointing, without wasting any more words, with his forefinger at
- Gregor as he slowly moved forward. The violin went silent, the
- middle of the three gentlemen first smiled at his two friends,
- shaking his head, and then looked back at Gregor. His father seemed
- to think it more important to calm the three gentlemen before
- driving Gregor out, even though they were not at all upset and
- seemed to think Gregor was more entertaining than the violin playing
- had been. He rushed up to them with his arms spread out and
- attempted to drive them back into their room at the same time as
- trying to block their view of Gregor with his body. Now they did
- become a little annoyed, and it was not clear whether it was his
- father's behaviour that annoyed them or the dawning realisation that
- they had had a neighbour like Gregor in the next room without
- knowing it. They asked Gregor's father for explanations, raised
- their arms like he had, tugged excitedly at their beards and moved
- back towards their room only very slowly. Meanwhile Gregor's sister
- had overcome the despair she had fallen into when her playing was
- suddenly interrupted. She had let her hands drop and let violin and
- bow hang limply for a while but continued to look at the music as if
- still playing, but then she suddenly pulled herself together, lay
- the instrument on her mother's lap who still sat laboriously
- struggling for breath where she was, and ran into the next room
- which, under pressure from her father, the three gentlemen were more
- quickly moving toward. Under his sister's experienced hand, the
- pillows and covers on the beds flew up and were put into order and
- she had already finished making the beds and slipped out again
- before the three gentlemen had reached the room. Gregor's father
- seemed so obsessed with what he was doing that he forgot all the
- respect he owed to his tenants. He urged them and pressed them
- until, when he was already at the door of the room, the middle of
- the three gentlemen shouted like thunder and stamped his foot and
- thereby brought Gregor's father to a halt. "I declare here and
- now", he said, raising his hand and glancing at Gregor's mother and
- sister to gain their attention too, "that with regard to the
- repugnant conditions that prevail in this flat and with this family"
- - here he looked briefly but decisively at the floor - "I give
- immediate notice on my room. For the days that I have been living
- here I will, of course, pay nothing at all, on the contrary I will
- consider whether to proceed with some kind of action for damages
- from you, and believe me it would be very easy to set out the
- grounds for such an action." He was silent and looked straight
- ahead as if waiting for something. And indeed, his two friends
- joined in with the words: "And we also give immediate notice." With
- that, he took hold of the door handle and slammed the door.
-
- Gregor's father staggered back to his seat, feeling his way with his
- hands, and fell into it; it looked as if he was stretching himself
- out for his usual evening nap but from the uncontrolled way his head
- kept nodding it could be seen that he was not sleeping at all.
- Throughout all this, Gregor had lain still where the three gentlemen
- had first seen him. His disappointment at the failure of his plan,
- and perhaps also because he was weak from hunger, made it impossible
- for him to move. He was sure that everyone would turn on him any
- moment, and he waited. He was not even startled out of this state
- when the violin on his mother's lap fell from her trembling fingers
- and landed loudly on the floor.
-
- "Father, Mother", said his sister, hitting the table with her hand
- as introduction, "we can't carry on like this. Maybe you can't see
- it, but I can. I don't want to call this monster my brother, all I
- can say is: we have to try and get rid of it. We've done all that's
- humanly possible to look after it and be patient, I don't think
- anyone could accuse us of doing anything wrong."
-
- "She's absolutely right", said Gregor's father to himself. His
- mother, who still had not had time to catch her breath, began to
- cough dully, her hand held out in front of her and a deranged
- expression in her eyes.
-
- Gregor's sister rushed to his mother and put her hand on her
- forehead. Her words seemed to give Gregor's father some more
- definite ideas. He sat upright, played with his uniform cap between
- the plates left by the three gentlemen after their meal, and
- occasionally looked down at Gregor as he lay there immobile.
-
- "We have to try and get rid of it", said Gregor's sister, now
- speaking only to her father, as her mother was too occupied with
- coughing to listen, "it'll be the death of both of you, I can see it
- coming. We can't all work as hard as we have to and then come home
- to be tortured like this, we can't endure it. I can't endure it any
- more." And she broke out so heavily in tears that they flowed down
- the face of her mother, and she wiped them away with mechanical hand
- movements.
-
- "My child", said her father with sympathy and obvious understanding,
- "what are we to do?"
-
- His sister just shrugged her shoulders as a sign of the helplessness
- and tears that had taken hold of her, displacing her earlier
- certainty.
-
- "If he could just understand us", said his father almost as a
- question; his sister shook her hand vigorously through her tears as
- a sign that of that there was no question.
-
- "If he could just understand us", repeated Gregor's father, closing
- his eyes in acceptance of his sister's certainty that that was quite
- impossible, "then perhaps we could come to some kind of arrangement
- with him. But as it is ..."
-
- "It's got to go", shouted his sister, "that's the only way, Father.
- You've got to get rid of the idea that that's Gregor. We've only
- harmed ourselves by believing it for so long. How can that be
- Gregor? If it were Gregor he would have seen long ago that it's not
- possible for human beings to live with an animal like that and he
- would have gone of his own free will. We wouldn't have a brother
- any more, then, but we could carry on with our lives and remember
- him with respect. As it is this animal is persecuting us, it's
- driven out our tenants, it obviously wants to take over the whole
- flat and force us to sleep on the streets. Father, look, just
- look", she suddenly screamed, "he's starting again!" In her alarm,
- which was totally beyond Gregor's comprehension, his sister even
- abandoned his mother as she pushed herself vigorously out of her
- chair as if more willing to sacrifice her own mother than stay
- anywhere near Gregor. She rushed over to behind her father, who had
- become excited merely because she was and stood up half raising his
- hands in front of Gregor's sister as if to protect her.
-
- But Gregor had had no intention of frightening anyone, least of all
- his sister. All he had done was begin to turn round so that he
- could go back into his room, although that was in itself quite
- startling as his pain-wracked condition meant that turning round
- required a great deal of effort and he was using his head to help
- himself do it, repeatedly raising it and striking it against the
- floor. He stopped and looked round. They seemed to have realised
- his good intention and had only been alarmed briefly. Now they all
- looked at him in unhappy silence. His mother lay in her chair with
- her legs stretched out and pressed against each other, her eyes
- nearly closed with exhaustion; his sister sat next to his father
- with her arms around his neck.
-
- "Maybe now they'll let me turn round", thought Gregor and went back
- to work. He could not help panting loudly with the effort and had
- sometimes to stop and take a rest. No-one was making him rush any
- more, everything was left up to him. As soon as he had finally
- finished turning round he began to move straight ahead. He was
- amazed at the great distance that separated him from his room, and
- could not understand how he had covered that distance in his weak
- state a little while before and almost without noticing it. He
- concentrated on crawling as fast as he could and hardly noticed that
- there was not a word, not any cry, from his family to distract him.
- He did not turn his head until he had reached the doorway. He did
- not turn it all the way round as he felt his neck becoming stiff,
- but it was nonetheless enough to see that nothing behind him had
- changed, only his sister had stood up. With his last glance he saw
- that his mother had now fallen completely asleep.
-
- He was hardly inside his room before the door was hurriedly shut,
- bolted and locked. The sudden noise behind Gregor so startled him
- that his little legs collapsed under him. It was his sister who had
- been in so much of a rush. She had been standing there waiting and
- sprung forward lightly, Gregor had not heard her coming at all, and
- as she turned the key in the lock she said loudly to her parents "At
- last!".
-
- "What now, then?", Gregor asked himself as he looked round in the
- darkness. He soon made the discovery that he could no longer move
- at all. This was no surprise to him, it seemed rather that being
- able to actually move around on those spindly little legs until then
- was unnatural. He also felt relatively comfortable. It is true
- that his entire body was aching, but the pain seemed to be slowly
- getting weaker and weaker and would finally disappear altogether.
- He could already hardly feel the decayed apple in his back or the
- inflamed area around it, which was entirely covered in white dust.
- He thought back of his family with emotion and love. If it was
- possible, he felt that he must go away even more strongly than his
- sister. He remained in this state of empty and peaceful rumination
- until he heard the clock tower strike three in the morning. He
- watched as it slowly began to get light everywhere outside the
- window too. Then, without his willing it, his head sank down
- completely, and his last breath flowed weakly from his nostrils.
-
- When the cleaner came in early in the morning - they'd often asked
- her not to keep slamming the doors but with her strength and in her
- hurry she still did, so that everyone in the flat knew when she'd
- arrived and from then on it was impossible to sleep in peace - she
- made her usual brief look in on Gregor and at first found nothing
- special. She thought he was laying there so still on purpose,
- playing the martyr; she attributed all possible understanding to
- him. She happened to be holding the long broom in her hand, so she
- tried to tickle Gregor with it from the doorway. When she had no
- success with that she tried to make a nuisance of herself and poked
- at him a little, and only when she found she could shove him across
- the floor with no resistance at all did she start to pay attention.
- She soon realised what had really happened, opened her eyes wide,
- whistled to herself, but did not waste time to yank open the bedroom
- doors and shout loudly into the darkness of the bedrooms: "Come and
- 'ave a look at this, it's dead, just lying there, stone dead!"
-
- Mr. and Mrs. Samsa sat upright there in their marriage bed and had
- to make an effort to get over the shock caused by the cleaner before
- they could grasp what she was saying. But then, each from his own
- side, they hurried out of bed. Mr. Samsa threw the blanket over his
- shoulders, Mrs. Samsa just came out in her nightdress; and that is
- how they went into Gregor's room. On the way they opened the door
- to the living room where Grete had been sleeping since the three
- gentlemen had moved in; she was fully dressed as if she had never
- been asleep, and the paleness of her face seemed to confirm this.
- "Dead?", asked Mrs. Samsa, looking at the charwoman enquiringly,
- even though she could have checked for herself and could have known
- it even without checking. "That's what I said", replied the
- cleaner, and to prove it she gave Gregor's body another shove with
- the broom, sending it sideways across the floor. Mrs. Samsa made a
- movement as if she wanted to hold back the broom, but did not
- complete it. "Now then", said Mr. Samsa, "let's give thanks to God
- for that". He crossed himself, and the three women followed his
- example. Grete, who had not taken her eyes from the corpse, said:
- "Just look how thin he was. He didn't eat anything for so long.
- The food came out again just the same as when it went in". Gregor's
- body was indeed completely dried up and flat, they had not seen it
- until then, but now he was not lifted up on his little legs, nor did
- he do anything to make them look away.
-
- "Grete, come with us in here for a little while", said Mrs. Samsa
- with a pained smile, and Grete followed her parents into the bedroom
- but not without looking back at the body. The cleaner shut the door
- and opened the window wide. Although it was still early in the
- morning the fresh air had something of warmth mixed in with it. It
- was already the end of March, after all.
-
- The three gentlemen stepped out of their room and looked round in
- amazement for their breakfasts; they had been forgotten about.
- "Where is our breakfast?", the middle gentleman asked the cleaner
- irritably. She just put her finger on her lips and made a quick and
- silent sign to the men that they might like to come into Gregor's
- room. They did so, and stood around Gregor's corpse with their
- hands in the pockets of their well-worn coats. It was now quite
- light in the room.
-
- Then the door of the bedroom opened and Mr. Samsa appeared in his
- uniform with his wife on one arm and his daughter on the other. All
- of them had been crying a little; Grete now and then pressed her
- face against her father's arm.
-
- "Leave my home. Now!", said Mr. Samsa, indicating the door and
- without letting the women from him. "What do you mean?", asked the
- middle of the three gentlemen somewhat disconcerted, and he smiled
- sweetly. The other two held their hands behind their backs and
- continually rubbed them together in gleeful anticipation of a loud
- quarrel which could only end in their favour. "I mean just what I
- said", answered Mr. Samsa, and, with his two companions, went in a
- straight line towards the man. At first, he stood there still,
- looking at the ground as if the contents of his head were
- rearranging themselves into new positions. "Alright, we'll go
- then", he said, and looked up at Mr. Samsa as if he had been
- suddenly overcome with humility and wanted permission again from
- Mr. Samsa for his decision. Mr. Samsa merely opened his eyes wide
- and briefly nodded to him several times. At that, and without
- delay, the man actually did take long strides into the front
- hallway; his two friends had stopped rubbing their hands some time
- before and had been listening to what was being said. Now they
- jumped off after their friend as if taken with a sudden fear that
- Mr. Samsa might go into the hallway in front of them and break the
- connection with their leader. Once there, all three took their hats
- from the stand, took their sticks from the holder, bowed without a
- word and left the premises. Mr. Samsa and the two women followed
- them out onto the landing; but they had had no reason to mistrust
- the men's intentions and as they leaned over the landing they saw how
- the three gentlemen made slow but steady progress down the many
- steps. As they turned the corner on each floor they disappeared and
- would reappear a few moments later; the further down they went, the
- more that the Samsa family lost interest in them; when a butcher's
- boy, proud of posture with his tray on his head, passed them on his
- way up and came nearer than they were, Mr. Samsa and the women came
- away from the landing and went, as if relieved, back into the flat.
-
- They decided the best way to make use of that day was for relaxation
- and to go for a walk; not only had they earned a break from work but
- they were in serious need of it. So they sat at the table and wrote
- three letters of excusal, Mr. Samsa to his employers, Mrs. Samsa
- to her contractor and Grete to her principal. The cleaner came in
- while they were writing to tell them she was going, she'd finished
- her work for that morning. The three of them at first just nodded
- without looking up from what they were writing, and it was only when
- the cleaner still did not seem to want to leave that they looked up
- in irritation. "Well?", asked Mr. Samsa. The charwoman stood in
- the doorway with a smile on her face as if she had some tremendous
- good news to report, but would only do it if she was clearly asked
- to. The almost vertical little ostrich feather on her hat, which
- had been a source of irritation to Mr. Samsa all the time she had
- been working for them, swayed gently in all directions. "What is it
- you want then?", asked Mrs. Samsa, whom the cleaner had the most
- respect for. "Yes", she answered, and broke into a friendly laugh
- that made her unable to speak straight away, "well then, that thing
- in there, you needn't worry about how you're going to get rid of it.
- That's all been sorted out." Mrs. Samsa and Grete bent down over
- their letters as if intent on continuing with what they were
- writing; Mr. Samsa saw that the cleaner wanted to start describing
- everything in detail but, with outstretched hand, he made it quite
- clear that she was not to. So, as she was prevented from telling
- them all about it, she suddenly remembered what a hurry she was in
- and, clearly peeved, called out "Cheerio then, everyone", turned
- round sharply and left, slamming the door terribly as she went.
-
- "Tonight she gets sacked", said Mr. Samsa, but he received no reply
- from either his wife or his daughter as the charwoman seemed to have
- destroyed the peace they had only just gained. They got up and went
- over to the window where they remained with their arms around each
- other. Mr. Samsa twisted round in his chair to look at them and sat
- there watching for a while. Then he called out: "Come here, then.
- Let's forget about all that old stuff, shall we. Come and give me a
- bit of attention". The two women immediately did as he said,
- hurrying over to him where they kissed him and hugged him and then
- they quickly finished their letters.
-
- After that, the three of them left the flat together, which was
- something they had not done for months, and took the tram out to the
- open country outside the town. They had the tram, filled with warm
- sunshine, all to themselves. Leant back comfortably on their seats,
- they discussed their prospects and found that on closer examination
- they were not at all bad - until then they had never asked each
- other about their work but all three had jobs which were very good
- and held particularly good promise for the future. The greatest
- improvement for the time being, of course, would be achieved quite
- easily by moving house; what they needed now was a flat that was
- smaller and cheaper than the current one which had been chosen by
- Gregor, one that was in a better location and, most of all, more
- practical. All the time, Grete was becoming livelier. With all the
- worry they had been having of late her cheeks had become pale, but,
- while they were talking, Mr. and Mrs. Samsa were struck, almost
- simultaneously, with the thought of how their daughter was
- blossoming into a well built and beautiful young lady. They became
- quieter. Just from each other's glance and almost without knowing
- it they agreed that it would soon be time to find a good man for
- her. And, as if in confirmation of their new dreams and good
- intentions, as soon as they reached their destination Grete was the
- first to get up and stretch out her young body.
|